Saturday, February 16, 2008

The final hours

The clock on my desktop reads 2253 as I type this. In another one hour and seven minutes, I will officially be twenty years old. I catch myself looking at the clock with a kind of dreadful fascination.
Twenty... that's an age that once seemed almost impossible to reach. I am no longer to be a teenager. I'm to be a responsible adult in every sense of the word.
I have lived through two decades, and watched history being made. I've lived through the Kargil War and September 11th. Ten years from now, I will be able to tell children reading history books that I saw it all happen. They will stare at me open mouthed and wonder if I've lived forever. I used to do the same with thirty year old Aunties...
I've completed seven years of teenage and not done one crazy teen-like thing. The maximum trouble I've ever given my parents is to go off in a fit of sulks at an inopportune time. Parent's pet, teacher's pet- I've been priggishly, revoltingly good.
Though it certainly hasn't been a bad life to lead- quite the contrary actually- I can't help but regret that I've never done anything honestly crazy or wild or stupid- the kind of thing that a teenager is expected to do. And now, I've lost the chance to do it. Atleast, I can of course do something incredibly stupid anytime I choose in the blink of an eyelid, but where's the fun in that when you're twenty with all the world's cares hanging upon you?

Look at me right now- the last hours of my teenage are slipping away and I'm sitting in a stuffy hostel room writing in my blog. As I think about it though- that wild side- getting bubblegum highlights and a pierced navel- who am I kidding? That's not me, it never could be me, try as I might. I don't like pink and I've heard navel piercings really hurt. My idea of a fun evening is being curled up in bed with a good book, or practicing dance, or baking cookies in the kitchen while listening to music. I guess I was just born grown up.

But thinking about it... I don't think I would have it any other way.

9 comments:

Vartika said...

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net.

(From Sex and the City)

every birthday leaves you contemplative...and it always will...hold onto 20th...the first year when not only everyone but you yourself also start seeing yourself as a "grown up" coz 21st is just around the corner...

but as i told bedi...no matter how old are you...i will always be an year older...so you can always be kiddish around me, crib and get pampered!

Stay hot, stay sexy honey!
:*

विकास कुमार said...

उम्र के लिहाज से अपने व्यवहार तय करना - ये लोगोंं का सिखाया एक ऐसी मिथ्या अवधारणा है, जिसे अच्छे अच्छे लोग नहीं बच पाते. इस मामले में तुम अधिकांश लोगों से बेहतर हो.
"I can't help but regret that I've never done anything honestly crazy " तुम्हें इसमें regret क्युँ दिखता है, ये समझता हूँ और जानता हूँ कि ये गलत है. तुम्हें अभिमान होना चाहिये कि तुम औरों जैसी नहीं हो. ओरिजिनल होना बहुत बड़ी बात है. और मजे करने के लिये craziness आवश्यक नहीं.

The Daily Bird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Daily Bird said...

I so totally know what you mean. :)

pragyag said...

It feels soo familiar to me...but never thought much about being grown up, may be i was too born grown up as u said ...but still you can act the way you wish to when you are with the best people of your life...and our ideas of fun are most fun filled when they are not twisted because of normal norms of fun among our peers...
So just stay the way you like to be !! and you know u'll be the best then :)

BC said...

Oh, you can still do something rebellious in your twenties, thirties, forties... and it's more fun because no one expects it. It's also more thoughtful and full of joy. My rebellions in my teens were very self centred; now I want my friends to join. Boy, do we have fun.

aarathi said...

u mentioned something abt kids!!!!!!! OMG!!!

Nithya said...

Yeah, but notice, they refer to me as 'Aunty'. They'll probably be your kids:p

Dp said...

I strongly believe tht u dint get any opportunity to do such stuff..if u get one with ur close ones....u wil forget abt ur age n just flow in rhythm...:)life is big...who knows..u might get one in ur 40's....:P

PS: we missed by mm.. doing classical steps on hip hop song in shadow dance(last yr paf)..:(