This is a post about a performance I gave over a year ago, that I'd blogged about but not published then. Now, when I read it though, I can still remember that sense of perfect calm I experienced that day.
Yesterday was a small triumph of sorts. I performed on stage after practicing intensively, for a lot of rather snarky reasons. But up there, with a spotlight glowing on me and my voice booming from huge amplifiers, I had a sudden moment of clarity. I couldn't remember my reasons coming here and singing any more, and I had to think up some new ones quickly, because the audience was waiting. So I took a deep breath and began to sing. My voice was shaky at the start, but it smoothed soon, and for the first time in my life, I experienced the novel sensation of singing without a single thought in my head. I didn't think of the sound or of how I was sitting, I didn't worry if I would forget the lyrics or try to pose to show the best angles to my face. I just sang. And for the first time in a very long time, music made me happy.
4 comments:
"...पर हम क्या करेंगे इतनी ख़ूबसूरती का...मैं कभी-कभी अपना सबसे ख़ूबसूरत सपना याद करता हूँ...मेरा सबसे ख़ूबसूरत सपना भी कभी बहुत ख़ूबसूरत नहीं था.मेरे सपने भी थोडी सी ख़ुशी में, बहुत सारे सुख चुगने जैसे हैं. जैसे कोई चिडिया अपना खाना चुगती है...पर जब उसे पूरी रोटी मिलती है तो भी वह उस पूरी रोटी को नहीं खाती...वो उस रोटी में से रोटी चुग रही होती है. बहुत बडे आकाश में हम अपने हिस्से का आकाश चुग लेते हैं...देखने के लिये हम बडा खूबसूरत आसमान देख सकते हैं पर जीने के लिये हम उतना ही आकाश जी पाएँगे जितने आकाश को हमने अपनी खिडकी से जीना सीखा है."
- नाटक 'इल्हाम' से
when was this?
well dear!..it was always a pleasure to share the stage with you!..its always the key to a good performance, one shouldn't be conscious :)
@Vikash, I didn't really get the metaphor, but thanks :)
@Rava, a long long time ago.
@Jha, I remember a certain performance when you were very very conscious :p
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